what has steppenwolf been up to?
by Doccamelot
Summary: steppenwolf has big stuff going on BIG STUFF!


So I just talk into this microphone? Hello? Okay, okay, okay. That sounds cool, yeah that sounds cool. What was the question again? Oh who am I, and what am I doing here? Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. Hello my name is Steppenwolf, and I'm from the planet Apocalypse. My nephew is Darkseid, maybe you've heard of him and what am I doing here? Well that's complicated.

Okay so here's the thing, you think when your nephew becomes the unquestioned ruler of a planet your life is gonna be pretty easy right? Well little did I know that no, it would not be pretty easy, and he would be totally not thrilled with me, for a variety of reasons. Mainly there was this one time I was out with a few of my buddies and we got really drunk, and there was this guy who was just going on about this alien life invasion. I'm like, "Just tell us it already." And he was like, "I will only tell it to Darkseid." And I'm like, "Fine!"

So I got angry and I just hit him, and he died and then I told Darkseid that and I thought it was just funny, but Darkseid was like, "Blehhhh ... " Like angry at me, so anyways. So I had this whole idea of, "You know what I'm gonna do? I'm just gonna go to earth, and get the mother boxes, and take over the planet, and boom! Darkseid wins, yeah!" And then Steppenwolf is back on easy street, hanging out, that kind of flopped. That idea kind of flopped, and then every body was really mad at me.

And I lost my army that I was leading, and any chance of getting out of earth, but it's cool now. Steppenwolf has totally planned for everything. So what am I doing now? Well that's simple, I'm working my way back up to the world conquering game. I'm gonna conquer the universe eventually. I'm gonna start my own planet, it's gonna be called "Steppenwolf". Super cool planet with bad ass stuff, and everything.

But so it turns out it's pretty hard to get a job when all you have is "universe conqueror" on it so. 'Cause they're like,

"Well I don't believe you."

And I'm like, "Dude, I'm 10 feet tall, and I'm wearing all this sweet armor, and why don't you believe me?" And they say,

"Yeah, I still don't believe you." And I'm like,

"Ugh, dude. You're being so lame. I'm Steppenwolf!"

And they go, "Like the band?" And I said,

"No, I'm not like the band! I haven't heard of the band. There's a band called Steppenwolf?"

And they're like, "Yeah they wrote that song 'Born to be Wild'."

And I'm like, "Dude, I'm born to be wild!"

I'm working at a Mcdonalds right now, and it is when I say, not the best position for anybody to be working at. And it's like, at one point in my life I was super cool, but anyways, and oh, who is this? This is Darnelle, he's my roommate.

"Hi! I'm Darnelle." Said Darnelle

Is that Darnelle? Yeah, yeah that's Darnelle. Darnelle, what was that thing that you do again?

"I'm in an avant garde dance troop." Said Darnelle

See, Darnelle has plans. I see his dance troop. They're really, really, really good. They're like super good. There was this one time, what was it you called?

"Its still called dancing." Said Darnelle

Yeah he was doing some danceing. He had these horns, and he was dancing around, and he was breaking stuff in this apartment thing. And then there was red with words like, "I don't have to clean up anything Darnelle. I'm a universal conqueror Steppenwolf." And I was pretty impressed by that. And then I showed Darnelle some of my ideas for experimental dances, and what did you say about them Darnelle?

"I didn't like them. "Said Darnelle

Darnelle did not like them, but I'm working. I'm working. Steppenwolf is working at being Steppenwolf. There's a lot of avenues that Steppenwolf has in his mind, in his brain mind, and one of them is that Steppenwolf will maybe get into dance, who knows? It'd be better than working for Chet, that jerk. Oh Chet's my manager. They say Darkseid is the ultimate evil in the universe, I don't know.

There was this one time I was working, it was Friday night I'm like, "Chet man, I gotta get out there. I got stuff to do." And he's like, "Steppenwolf, you're on register five, and you threatened to disintegrate three of our customers. You can't do that." And I'm like, "Dude, I'm just being me man. Steppenwolf." But whatever, whatever Steppenwolf is cool. Steppenwolf is doing well. And my dating, and my dating, good question, good question. Yeah ... No I'm not dating 'cause when I ask women they say, "No." So that is a thumbling block that I have not figured out. Darnelle Dates-

"Yeah I date all the time!" said darnelle

That's Darnelle, he's great. Darnelle, I honestly am so surprised by Darnelle's fortitude of things-

"Thanks buddy! Now about ren-" Said Darnelle

Darnelle is just the best. So yeah that's what Steppenwolf has been doing lately. Remember to check out Steppenwolf's various accomplishments. Steppenwolf is gonna be on Twitter. Steppenwolf has a live stream going where I play video games with, I provide pretty funny commentary. again?

No, no, no I have never somebody killing a police horse sir.


End file.
